Do you think your elderly parents need home care? Elderly home care can be a sensitive subject, and you may be afraid to mention it. You may worry that the conversation will be awkward, or that your parents will get angry. While talking about home care isn’t easy, it’s a conversation that you need to have. Here are some tips for talking to your parents about elderly home care services.
Be Respectful
If your parents feel disrespected, the home care conversation probably won’t be as positive. Approach the subject very carefully, and with respect. Offer your opinions, not advice. Your parents are used to being the ones who guide you, and may not respond well to being told what to do. Be careful not to act like you’re the parent and they’re the child. Talking to elderly parents like this can make them upset.
During the conversation, stay positive. Avoid focusing on what your parents can’t do, and avoid criticism. For example, tell your parents that they’ve worked hard their whole lives and deserve to have an assistant around the house.
Listen to Your Parents’ Concerns
Getting home care is a big change, and your parents will probably have some questions. While home care may not be optional for them, their feelings still matter. Talk to your parents about their feelings and address any questions about receiving home care. Make the time to really listen.
Seniors may worry that they’ll lose their independence if they get a caregiver. They may worry that they can’t afford it. They may be scared about the changes they’re experiencing as they age. They may be worried that they won’t see you any more once they have a caregiver. Whatever your parents’ concerns are, listen and empathize.
Reassure Your Parents
Once you understand your parents’ concerns, reassure them. For example, if they’re worried about losing their independence, reassure them that seniors can still be independent with home care. Caregivers don’t come into the house and take over; they only handle tasks that have been agreed upon in advance.
If your parents are worried that you won’t visit them anymore, reassure them that the opposite is the case. With a caregiver, parents and children can actually spend more time together. Instead of spending your visits doing dishes or cooking dinner, you can spend quality time together.
Start Slow
Since getting a caregiver is a big change, your parents may be apprehensive if you want the caregiver to be in the house every day. Starting slow can make this conversation easier. Ask your parents if they’d like to have a caregiver visit semi-weekly. They may be more open to the idea of having someone check on them occasionally. If they need more help, ask if they’d like to have a caregiver come over a couple of days a week.
Starting slow lets your parents get used to the idea of having a caregiver. On days when the caregiver is off-duty, they may realize that they miss the extra help. They can ask you to send the caregiver more often.
Involve a Third Party
Sometimes, no matter what you do, the home care conversation just does not go well. Some people may be very stubborn, and others may not want to talk to their children about home care. If you’ve already tried to talk about home care, and it went badly, don’t give up. Involving a trusted third party can make the conversation easier.
Many people may be willing to talk to your parents about home care. For example, if your parents have a trusted friend or neighbour who uses home care, that person may be able to talk to your parents. Your parents’ doctor may also be able to bring up home care. No matter which route you take, there are plenty of options to ensure your conversation is positive and productive.
